Christmas Thought

I had a thought reading the Christmas story yesterday, from Luke 2:12 “This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

A sign, in this context, is something notable and extraordinary that testifies to something God pronounced. Now, the Bible has a lot of signs that God used throughout history: a fleece that was dry when the ground was wet, a shadow moving backward up a staircase, water coming from a rock by speaking to it, fire coming down from heaven and consuming a sacrifice. All of these signs were notable and extraordinary because they were impressive, and that was how they could be recognized as being from God.

But I find it instructive that God didn't choose a sign like that to point to Jesus. In fact, the sign that the shepherds were given so that they could recognize Christ was something so humble that it would've been remarkable: what parents wouldn't even have proper clothes for their baby, and how extraordinary was it to find a baby who didn't have a bed or a crib, but was laying in a feeding trough? The sign that the shepherds were given to recognize who the Savior of the World was wasn't something so majestic that it was remarkable, it was something so lowly that it was remarkable. 

Identity

As I've continued to ask God why He has called us back from our attempt to join Wycliffe as full-time missionaries, I've had an insight that I wanted to share.

Early in college I identified what I felt was a calling to missions, and I prepared for it throughout my college years (my degree was in the role I wanted to fulfill on the mission field, and I spent each summer in a different overseas missions project, trying out different options). I married Cynthia because she identified that she felt a call to missions on her life, too, and was willing to live such a life with me. Each stage of my employment experience was chosen with the intent to prepare myself for what I expected to do in missions, until I was working as a paid employee for Wycliffe in Orlando. For all this time (8 years or so), my personal self-image was more and more set into this being what I wanted to be: a full-time cross-cultural missionary. That's who I thought of myself as.

Now, that personal identity is gone; not going to be possible, at least in the foreseeable future. I was forced to realize that I didn't have much to replace it. I would have never said it, but the idea of being "just" an ordinary person living an ordinary life seemed rather boring to me. Nothing wrong with it, just not for me. Now, here I am, with that being the only path I see before me. What kind of an identity is it to just be doing the same things as everyone else?

But that's not what my identity is supposed to be: I'm supposed to find my identity not in what I do, but in my relationship with God. The fulfillment of being His child and knowing Him is all I'm supposed to look to for my identity. I've heard this before, but it didn't really sink in. When I get wrapped up in thinking of myself as special and gifted and impressive, a change of direction such as I experienced is quite a shock. I realize, though, that it was likely the only jolt that could've forced me into finding my self-image in how God sees me. I guess it was a lesson I needed to learn.

Moving Forward

This post will be a little more of a personal reflection than most. We're finally reorganizing our lives a little bit: the blog here hasn't been getting as much priority anymore. Cynthia has been spending more time with the kids and cutting down on obligations that contribute to her overall stress level, so the blog has kind of taken a backseat for that reason. I'm also busy keeping everything going and with some other projects that I'm working on, such as the website design job that Cynthia mentioned previously.

As for me, some days are still difficult: I ask myself why God had us invest so much effort and physical and emotional energy in something that didn't work out (and I ask Him the same thing). I ask myself if it was all my fault: something I failed to do or did wrong, but I don't think it was. Obviously we didn't do everything perfect and if given another chance I would do some things much differently, but none of our mistakes were to the level of disqualifying us from service. I've sincerely asked God about it, and He's never told me anything that was "the cause" for us to not make it to the mission field and have to give up. That comforts me. I reflect that I would be a terrible father if I punished my kids for something they did wrong and then refuse to tell them what it was that they're being punished for: I don't believe God does that either. If this was all punishment from God, He would've told me why: since He hasn't, I don't have any reason to feel guilty.

I still feel a sense of shame that I declared what I thought would happen and pursued what I felt was called to, and our naysayers (there weren't many, but there were a few) were the ones who were proved correct, and all the wonderful people who supported us and encouraged us so much were proved wrong. I feel like I owe a debt to all of you, many of whom are still reading this blog, that I now can't fulfill. I'm sorry, although I know you'll tell me I don't need to be. I need to say it anyways.

Our lives aren't over, and I'm not spending much time brooding over the past or "what might have been". I'm certain that at the end of my life (or at least when I look back on it from heaven) I'll see why this was all necessary, and truthfully we had some great experiences getting to spend time with people and share the vision of Wycliffe. The kids got to spend priceless time with their grandparents that would've been impossible otherwise. There's lots of things to be thankful for from this past year, but I can't pretend that at this time the death of my dream doesn't still hurt. It does. I'm still hopeful to see where God leads us to go from here. We're still moving forward.

The Dichotomy of the Christian Life

As I've been doing some devotional writing at cccmurphysboro.wordpress.com, I wrote one devotional that ended up being for the wrong day, so it didn't appear there. I liked it, however, so I am going to reprint it here instead. I hope it edifies you. The reading for the day was James 5.

I'm a big fan of good quotes. I don't know why, but concise, pithy ways of expressing deep truths really impresses me. I read a quote yesterday that I really liked: Amy Carmichael was a single woman in the early 1900s who worked extensively with the poorest of the poor in India. A donor wrote to her stating that he wanted his donated money to go to "spiritual work", implying that her work running orphanages and schools was not "spiritual". Her reply stated that "In our experience, souls are more or less firmly attached to bodies"

Amy's statement points to the difficult dichotomy we live in as Christians: the daily business of living is so all-consuming and immersive, we need to have it taken care of before we can focus on what's beyond. Nevertheless, we have to remember that it's just a sideshow (perhaps a warm-up) for what's next, after we die.  James has several places where he addresses this contrast:

1. Chapter 1 tells us to persevere in trials in this life, because God will reward us in the next (vs 12).
2. Chapter 2 addresses the problem of considering ourselves so "spiritual"that we don't need to help others with their needs in this life (vss 15-17).
3. Chapter 3 tells us that we shouldn't be organizing our values based on what the world considers to be smart and wise, but based on what God's wisdom tells us (vss 13-18)
4. Chapter 4 reminds us that we can make our plans, but we're not ultimately in charge: God is (vss 13-17).

Finally, in our reading today James concludes his letter with an encouragement to be sober and patient as we consider that what is happening in this life isn't the final chapter. The images and feelings and thoughts that consume us day-to-day aren't the most important things going on. We need to be anticipating that God will have the last word, either to punish us for not acting justly (in verses 1-6), or to reward us for persevering and obeying Him despite hardships (verses 7-11).

When I look at the world around us I take comfort in the idea that someday, God will make everything right. Indeed, it's the only thing I know that makes justice and righteousness worth believing in. Praise the Lord that He is worthy of our trust, and consider what you can do today that will condition you to be more heaven-focused in your thinking and actions.

Another guest post

I (Bob) got the opportunity to do another guest post on CCC Murphysboro's devotional blog. In our readings we're in 2 Kings where King Josiah finds the Book of the Law. Read my comments on the blog here: cccmurphysboro.wordpress.com

Parenting: an act of faith

Cynthia and I are being shocked at how our daughter is becoming a young lady. She's growing up so much it's amazing. I'm challenged to learn everything I can about parenting because she's getting older faster than I can keep up.
Recently, some good friends of ours have started a ministry combating child abuse (here's a plug for them and their excellent book). Coupled with that, I also just went through Wycliffe's mandatory child abuse prevention training, which really impacted me now that I have two young children who are getting bigger every day. It's scary hearing in the news how many evil people there are around who do things to innocent kids. Cynthia and I realize that we're both really lucky that neither of us had to deal with anything like that as baggage from our childhoods, but we have friends who have had to. It's very difficult. I think it's becoming more and more common as our culture becomes more sexually "liberated" and we're throwing off the boundaries of conscience that God gave us for our happiness.
But I don't want to write about that: as the saying goes, cursing the darkness isn't going to help. I'm going to try to be proactive in protecting my children and teaching them to know what's dangerous and what's not, but I feel very inadequate. Ultimately, it comes back to faith: I won't always be there for my children in every situation, no matter how involved I am or how much I try to shelter them. It's not worth feeling bad about because it's impossible. If I tried to never let them out of my sight they would never have a chance to mature. All I can do is trust God that He'll watch over them when I can't, and that He'll keep them safe from the dangers that I know I'm inadequate to protect them from. All I can do is pray every day that He'll protect them. All I can do is trust that He knows what He's doing.
That's really the only way I can sleep at night.

Guest Post at The Word blog

I (Bob) put up a guest post at CCC Murphysboro's The Word devotional blog. Check it out here: cccmurphysboro.wordpress.com. It's about Jonah.

A teaser to whet your appetite: "The amazing mercy of God is that He looked at the city (the linchpin of a brutal, pitiless empire) not as a symbol of “the enemy”, but as a collection of normal, unremarkable human beings just trying to live their lives in the culture they were born into. Following their repentance, God saw more to be pitied than hated (Jonah 4:11)."

New and Improved?

I've become interested recently in history and have found some excellent podcasts that are teaching me some fascinating history lessons. I've listened to several great ones about Roman history recently. In a podcast I listened to yesterday, the narrator made a point that I thought was excellent in understanding the mindset of Ancient Rome. He said (paraphrasing), “In order to understand Roman thought, you have to understand that they thought everything was deteriorating all the time. To them, what was old was automatically good, and something “new” was automatically inferior.” This is antithetical to modern Western culture, where advertisers are always portraying things as “new and improved”; to a Roman, that would've been nonsensical. In Rome, even when the great consuls and emperors were reinventing the government in new ways, they had to find convoluted ways to justify it as “bringing back” something that had been done before (even if it wasn't).

I'd never thought of this contrast before, so to hear him say it got me thinking. I see this tension in our culture today: there's a segment of the political and cultural world that views everything “new” as automatically worth trying and worth throwing themselves into (even if it doesn't solve a real problem and is just activity for the sake of activity). The contrast is that the other camp views everything old as unquestionably superior, and views anything new with suspicion, or even outright hatred. There are Christians in both camps. I'm inclined to think that neither one is particularly correct. I think God is always doing new things, so “new” isn't necessarily to be despised, but at the same time, there is much value in recognizing the tried-and-tested wisdom of tradition and history.   

In Christianity these days there are people doing many varied projects around the world: some are trying new things, some are continuing the same way that has been done for decades, or even centuries. Sometimes the two camps despise each other; one is "old-fashioned and out-of-touch", while the other is "compromising the Gospel" and "faddish". But labels like that don't help anyone: there's value in both approaches depending on circumstances. Wherever God has us, we need to be satisfied and committed where we are, but not put down those God has led to be involved elsewhere.

Guest blogging

For the past 6 months we've been reading through the Bible along with the church we attended for some months in Illinois: Christ Community Church in Murphysboro, Illinois. They have a blog going with devotional thoughts posted each day to go with the Bible reading. We were asked to put up a guest post, so check out my (Bob's) post over there at cccmurphysboro.wordpress.com. It's a privilege to get to help out our friends, and to keep in touch with them.

Failed Missionaries?

It was about three weeks ago that Cynthia first mentioned to me the new title that God gave her as the heading for our blog: "failed missionaries living faith-filled lives". At first I didn't like it for the same reasons as many of our friends, because I struggle with being labeled as a "failure", and because I don't feel like we are a failure in God's eyes. However, as time has gone on the title has grown on me, so let me present our reasoning behind it.

You will notice throughout this post that I write "failure" in quotation marks, because we're simply using it as a label, we aren't saying that it's the only (or even the most accurate) way to describe ourselves or what we were trying to do over the past year.

My greatest fear has always been failure: as a kid I was someone who was athletic and fairly smart, and so I was usually able to master most things I tried without too much effort and without too much risk. Anything I wasn't sure about I would just avoid. I can't stand making a fool of myself in front of other people. It was a very real fear that I had to face when we started the big, scary, intimidating partnership development process: what if I'm not successful? Could I still look myself in the mirror and still consider myself a person? Would it destroy my identity and my self-image?

As things played out, I don't feel like either Cynthia or I failed in what God gave us to do: we did our best and what caused us to change direction was wholly outside of our control. I prayed about whether we should just grit our teeth and keep pushing through and I really, honestly felt God tell me not to; He told us to change direction and put our dreams away (maybe on hold, maybe for good). That's not giving up or quitting.

So what do you do when what you step out in faith, do what it felt like God had told you to pursue, and it doesn't work out? To an outside observer, it does appear to be "failure". What should we do with that? As far as we look at it personally, we aren't treating it as a failure: we're understanding that God simply has different purposes for us than we expected.

However, as we are hoping this blog can become a testimony and a ministry to others, I believe God has given Cynthia and I an experience to be used to encourage others who are either on the verge of pursuing a dream God has given (and are afraid of what will happen if it doesn't work out) or who have had a similar disillusioning, confusing experience where they tried, but things didn't turn out the way they expected. That fear of "failure" in the eyes of parents, peers, friends, neighbors, etc is a very real pressure.

Our story, and our reaction to the "failure" of our dream, is an illustration that God is faithful even if the worst happens and it comes to nothing. Instead of fearing the label "failed", we are embracing it, and using it to tell others that if they succeed, God will be there for them, but also if they "fail" God will still be there, and will strengthen them to lead faith-filled lives no matter where they end up. That's all God calls any of us to do: whether that ends up looking like "success" or "failure" in the eyes of the world or other Christians or anyone is up to God.


Don't forget to enter to win a copy of These Words Changed Everything: Startling News that Rebuilt a Maya Worldview.  Enter HERE

Depression: What Colors Can You See?

Over the past few months when Cynthia has been battling depression, it has affected our whole family. It has definitely changed the way I view depression: before I had personal experience with it, I didn't think much about it but subconsciously assumed that anything that a person thought could be "un-thought". Any thinking pattern that wasn't desirable just needed to be replaced by a thinking pattern that fit the direction you wanted to go, and after that was done then you'd feel better.
I've learned, though, that when Cynthia is in a low time (her incidents of depression are very irregular and unpredictable, so the difference between her "up" days and her "down" days are very dramatic), her whole thinking process changes. The best analogy I've thought of is that it's as if a person has a disease that periodically affects their brain so that they can no longer see the color green. When the person is "normal", they can see fine, but when the disease affects them they can't see the same. They even know mentally that green still exists, but that knowledge isn't helping them because, as I've heard said, "perception is reality". They're not comforted by someone assuring them that green objects still exist the same as ever, they're not encouraged by pressures to "meditate on green objects", and they're not helped by advice to "just concentrate on the green that you can see". In that moment, until something changes, green doesn't exist for them.
In my analogy, green is encouragement, or hope. When Cynthia is in a "down time", the same motivations, encouragements, and passions that drive her when she's "up" don't even exist for her, and encouraging her in the same way that I could encourage her normally just doesn't work. That's why most depression advice I've read (and I'm no expert, I'm just generalizing) doesn't help much: most of them are the same ways that we can all encourage ourselves when we feel discouraged. Those ways work great when the problem is just that the green we can see is getting crowded out temporarily by all the blue and red objects in our lives. The problem is that depression fundamentally changes a person's perception: if it's impossible to see green anymore, you have to get back to normal sight some other way, other than just "seeing different". Just like that, depression requires more than just "thinking different".

Depression: It's Our Problem

Cynthia was dealing with depression for months before we realized what it was. At first it just seemed like Cynthia would get in a mood where she was unreasonably touchy, couldn't be satisfied and was too tired to do the things that used to excite her. Then the next day she would be dramatically better. It was a roller-coaster for awhile, but we started to finally see that it was a noticeable pattern, and we started to realize that maybe it wasn't just "moods", maybe it was something physiological.

I can understand the temptations as a spouse to draw away. I didn't know when we got married that I was agreeing to having to be a single parent one day every couple weeks, or to spending late nights trying to encourage Cynthia when nothing I say helps, or to having her attack me unfairly. As we've slowly come to realize more of what it is, however, I'm realizing that when I was married this is what I signed up for. I'm very thankful that when the pendulum swings back and Cynthia's back to "normal" she's still the same wonderful person I married. Since this is the case I know that in the "down" times she's not herself, and part of serving her "for better or for worse" is taking care of her through tough times as well as enjoying the happy times. I know some people have to deal with a spouse who always treats them like I was describing, and I feel for them, but I thank God that I'm not dealing with that. I'm still married to an amazing, delightful woman, and I'm helping her through something she's being attacked by periodically, like a disease.

Depression isn't just her problem to deal with on her own. I don't make her feel guilty when she can't do what she usually does and I pick up the slack. I try to not argue or get angry with her when she's down and says things that feel unfair, untrue, or hurtful. I'm seeking to help her, reading about how I can assist her, encouraging her and sticking with her when she needs it. That's what I agreed to when I said those vows on our wedding day. If it meant staying by her bedside if she got cancer I would do it, and so I'm going to do the equivalent in this situation, when she being attacked by a different, but in some ways very similar, affliction.

The Least of These

I have a confession to make: I find it easy to think of excuses for why things I read in the Bible don't apply to me. That's a scary thing to admit to myself, but it's true. 

I was gently convicted of one of these areas the other day. Some good friends of ours run a food pantry here in town, and they have a really unique and really important place in ministering to poor people in their area who need help. Now, as much as I would've denied it if someone had said it to me, I have the standard subconscious "conservative American" response to the question of the poor ("Are there no prisons? Are there no workhouses?"), and I always thought that I was glad that God called some people to minister to those people, because I didn't feel like I was called to do so. 

Our church has been working with this food pantry for the last few weeks, and has been encouraging everyone to sign up to help in some specific area of running the ministry. Since these are people we know, Cynthia and I thought it would be good to sign up and help. Well, our family ended up getting sick right beforehand, so I was the only one who could go, and I felt like I was just fulfilling the obligation we had signed up for. I figured I'd put in my time, and that was that. However, as I worked there, I really felt a belonging, and a fulfillment, that I wasn't expecting. 

Helping at that food pantry, as much as it was something I wouldn't have volunteered for on my own and wasn't looking forward to, was something that was good for me to do.As we learned more about in our church's blog post a little while ago, Jesus cares deeply about how we treat those not as well off as we are. I was convicted that it's too easy for me to assume that this is someone else's job, and that He does call me to look for ways to help the poor around me. The fulfillment I felt in doing a job that I "didn't feel called to" was a gentle conviction that God calls all of us to care for the poor. We in the American church are good at paying lip service to this because Jesus said so much about it, but I realized how much I've lacked in my personal application of this truth.

I'd encourage anyone to help out at a food pantry sometime, if you have one in your area. It might be a good experience for you, as it was for me.

Why Do Stupid Things Happen to Smart People?

Matthew 11:25 “At that time Jesus said, “I praise You, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because You have hidden these things from the wise and learned and revealed them to infants.” (HCSB)


I've read a few parenting books, trying to figure out what I should and shouldn't be doing in raising our kids. One book I read explained something I've thought about a lot in the months since I read it. The book explained Gardner's theory of multiple intelligences: the theory that the "intelligence" that we measure by IQ tests and the like, is really only part of the picture. There are people that are very "intelligent" (by which term he means, "gifted", or "have a high aptitude") in other areas: art, physical activity, social relationships, etc. Someone who's gifted at intellectual pursuits might be a dunce in other areas, and vice versa. Why do we in the West value logical-mathematical and bodily-kinesthetic giftings almost exclusively?

So this thought has led me to consider recently: it seems from my experience that being intellectual is entirely disconnected to (and far less important than) a person's moral maturity. Some of the smartest people in the world have shockingly low moral character, and don't seem to care. We in the west have elevated intellectual giftings exclusively, as if that's the only really important gift for determining whether a person is going to be a success in life, but that's simply not true. Doesn't everyone know smart people who have made some really dumb decisions with their lives?

As I've watched people I've known (smart ones and others), I've seen that those who are smart are not any more to be emulated than anyone else. In fact, maybe less so because those who are smart are especially susceptible (because of the continual subtle reinforcement of their pride, by comparing themselves to others) to the ridiculous notion that they know everything they need to know to reject God and His laws. I am glad there are intellectual Christians who can debate atheists and I'm glad there are brilliant Christians who are scientists, but even when there are questions that I can't figure out with my reason, I know God is bigger than I can understand, and I accept that he doesn't have to make sense to me. I trust Him. You can argue about whether that's smart or not, but it's right.

"Holes" in the Bible

The Bible gives us the highlights of people's lives, but what happened in the “holes”, the places where the Bible doesn't tell us what happened, is just as important. However, it's hard to remember that when you're in one. I read a book by Alicia Britt Chole called “Anonymous”, that are about Jesus' “hidden years” before His ministry began.  What happened in people's lives before and after the “Sunday School story” that they're famous for?

Consider the two-year “hole” in Joseph's life at the end of Genesis 40 after he interpreted the cupbearer's dream and Joseph's own release.  He continued to have hope even when it looked like God and people had abandoned him.

What about the 10-day “hole” in Jeremiah 42 (chapters 39-43 give you the context). In this hole, the people went from being obedient servants of God, to refusing to listen to God in 10 days!  The delay showed that their hearts were more given over to fear than to faith in God.

What about Esther in Chapter 2? What quiet steps of obedience helped prepare her for the extraordinary steps of obedience and faith that would be asked of her when the stakes were high?

In these examples their faithfulness or unfaithfulness in the quiet, mundane seasons of waiting and working set them up for success or failure when God's “big story” found them and swept them up. We're trying to learn to be patient and diligent in the day-to-day, ordinary things in life that are ultimately responsible for building our character.

Where are you working patiently, preparing for Him to do something great with you?

Today I"m linking up with Better Mom

What Was Joseph Thinking?

I'm trying to imagine the Christmas story happening to me, as Joseph. Being a God-fearing man, when we arrive late in Bethlehem and my wife is about to give birth (to a special baby foretold by an angel, no less!), I'm not worried when I find that there's no room in the inn. I'm excited: God has somewhere special planned! I believe that God will bring someone across my path, maybe we'll be invited into a rich man's comfortable villa somewhere, maybe a relative will have a cozy, beautiful room specially prepared for us (“Oh, an angel came to me and told me you were coming,” he'll say). As time is going on and Mary is in more and more pain and the birth is coming closer, I start to become worried and agitated: what am I supposed to be doing? Where's God's miraculous provision? He sent an angel to me and one to Mary earlier; is He going to abandon us now, of all times?! Am I missing something? Did I do something wrong, so this isn't working like it was supposed to? Eventually we can't wait any longer, Mary is in active labor and she needs to be under some sort of shelter, so we have to make do with this barn that the innkeeper offered us. As this is happening, I keep wondering what went wrong? This can't be how it was supposed to happen! Have I failed, or has God failed, or what? In fact, I imagine (if he were like me) he would've spent the rest of his life pondering that question.
Yet, from all indications, it really was how it was supposed to happen. The ways of God are impossible to understand, and sometimes we need to accept that a situation that looks unacceptable and terrible from our point of view is exactly what God wanted, for reasons of His own.

Fun Post: Cheeseburgers

Ever think about cheeseburgers? I enjoyed reading this post, which in turn references this one, about what is involved in making a cheeseburger, a product of technology, and globalization. Here's an excerpt, for your amusement:

As I was thinking about how nice it is to have all of those ingredients, I came across a blog post by Waldo Jaquith where he describes how much more impossible it would be to make a hamburger “from stratch.” Since he already raises chickens, he thought it would be fun to grow tomatoes and onions, make buns and mustard, and grind his own beef by hand. But the more he thought about it, he realized to be truly legitimate he’d need to raise his own cows. Then he realized that he’d need at least two cows, one for meat and one for milk to make cheese. As he continued to peel back layers, he came to this realization:

Further reflection revealed that it’s quite impractical—nearly impossible—to make a cheeseburger from scratch. Tomatoes are in season in the late summer. Lettuce is in season in spring and fall. Large mammals are slaughtered in early winter. The process of making such a burger would take nearly a year, and would inherently involve omitting some core cheeseburger ingredients. It would be wildly expensive—requiring a trio of cows—and demand many acres of land. There’s just no sense in it.
A cheeseburger cannot exist outside of a highly developed, post-agrarian society. It requires a complex interaction between a handful of vendors—in all likelihood, a couple of dozen—and the ability to ship ingredients vast distances while keeping them fresh. The cheeseburger couldn’t have existed until nearly a century ago as, indeed, it did not.

 Thank God for the age we live in! :-)

Bob's Thoughts: Force Multiplier

There is a principle in engineering known as mechanical advantage. Another phrase sometimes used is “force multiplier”. What these terms refer to is the idea that you can use a device to take the force you're using and make it greater, often by many times. I'm sure everyone in school has done some variation of the experiment where you try to lift a bag of rice or something, and then lift the same bag with a pulley system, and been able to easily feel how much less effort is required. The force that you used before with no advantage could be multiplied many times by the presence of mechanical advantage. Mankind has learned to use mechanical advantage to achieve things that would've been impossible otherwise.

There are over 2,000 languages left in the world with no translation project even started. Wycliffe's goal is to see a project started for each of these before the year 2025. This looks like an impossible goal. However, information technology in the field of Bible translation is a form of mechanical advantage. When a translator is translating the Bible, a certain amount of effort is required, under any circumstances. Learning the language well, finding the precise meaning of words, checking the grammar and phrases used to make sure they're accurate, all of this is effort that cannot be eliminated. However, computers can enhance these efforts, making them more efficient and more effective. Editing a manuscript on a computer is often much quicker than handwriting and re-handwriting it. Computer programs allow much greater efficiency in such tasks as cataloging a language, developing a precise orthography (writing system), communicating with colleagues or consultants, or studying Bible passages to ensure proper translation.

Computers are essential to productivity in these modern times, and this applies to Bible translation just as much as other areas. In many areas of the world, Bible translators have to work through the inevitable computer glitches or problems because there is no one onsite who can be dedicated exclusively to clearing these problems up for them. Their efficiency is lowered while they try to solve these problems on their own in an area that isn't their expertise. My goal is to contribute my expertise to keeping the computers of Wycliffe Nigeria Group running smoothly so that translators and other members of Wycliffe Nigeria can focus their expertise on their assigned areas. More than simply fixing computers, my work will be enabling dozens of people to utilize the gifts God's given them much more effectively, thus multiplying their efforts many times over. We are each playing our small part to getting God's Word to those who need it most: the overlooked, forgotten and marginalized in today's world.

Preparing for the Future

Preparing for the future is a tough balance between (a) knowing that God is in control and has everything laid out in advance, and (b) making reasonable preparations in the wisdom He's given us (i.e. being careful not to be presumptuous, which would be assuming that He will cover carelessness and foolishness on my part). It's hard to know, especially in this partnership development stage where we have huge things to prepare for on the one hand, but don't have any idea what our timeline or anything will be on the other. So much is out of our control.

In Luke 22:7-13, Jesus is preparing for His last passover with His disciples. He sends Peter and John ahead with detailed instructions on how to find a divinely orchestrated and prepared setup where they could have the passover. A room and furniture was waiting for them from a person that presumably none of them knew, courtesy of God's working on their behalf. Kind of like Peter finding a coin in the mouth of the fish, right? But what was Jesus sending Peter and John ahead to do? “Go and prepare the Passover meal for us”. Apparently, not ALL of the preparations were done yet.

What I took away from this was that Jesus did think ahead and prepare for the future, as He sent His disciples ahead to prepare for something He was going to do that night. They didn't enter Jerusalem at nightfall and then wander around expecting there to be someone with an open door waiting for them with a whole 13-person meal set out. However, at the same time He didn't have to sweat the big stuff (getting a room and furniture), because God had them taken care of. He just had His disciples take care of the little stuff (buying food and preparing it).
I felt like this was an encouragement to us, as we're contacting people and speaking at churches for our partnership development work for Wycliffe. While we are responsible for the little stuff (giving good presentations, doing the legwork of talking to people and planning trips, etc.) we can be confident that God has the big stuff (the individuals who will be actually supporting us, and the logistics of preparing us mentally and physically for service in Nigeria) laid out for us in advance. It's encouraging not to feel like the whole thing is on our shoulders, but also challenging to know that we are responsible for our part of the work.

Bravery

Near the end of Jesus' life comes Peter's infamous denials, about which much has been said and written. I think it's inaccurate to take it as an example of Peter's cowardice, though. Peter was bold and decisive when things were going down the way he expected, when he was defending Jesus to the death with a sword. It was when Jesus rebuked him and took everything in a totally different direction that Peter was thrown off his game and lost his nerve. From his confusion came his shameful denials. How easy is it to lose our self-assured bravery when we're faced with something we weren't expecting. Shouldn't bravery hold the same no matter what needs to be confronted? Unfortunately, no.

As we're in this partnership development process, there are a lot of unknowns for us. It's very unsettling, probably the most unsettling place we've ever been in our lives. We don't know when we'll be able to go, how fast to get ready, what to expect month-to-month, or very much of what our future holds. In fact, things have already turned out somewhat different from what we were expecting and hoping when we started. It was easy to be brave when we first made the decision to strike off into the unknown, but now bravery feels a lot different in the day-to-day struggles and uncertainties that plague us. I think it's important to have the mindset that I'll follow Jesus no matter what happens, not only when I think I know what's going to happen. It's hard to be brave even in the face of a complete shattering of my expectations, as happened to Peter here. I think doing so is an important part of living out my appropriate relationship to God: as an obedient, humble servant.