The mother they need, not that I want to be.

http://supportforspecialneeds.com

Last year we added our third child to the family and I had a plan on how life would go.  Preschool at home with my two budding geniuses, who were eager to learn, with field trips to the science center, and story-time at the library.  Baby in my lap with brother and sister siting next to me listening well and participating.  This isn't my last year.

The first few months were spent surviving at home with a baby who when awake was screaming, and my other two kids pacified by PBSkids.  11 months later we learn that the baby has milk and soy allergies, and pancreas enzyme deficiency that is causing him to not gain weight.  5 months in to the screaming baby, we start noticing the soon to be 3 year old, still won't still still to color, is uninterested in dressing himself, and still needs a bib for any messy meal.  2 pediatricians later and 3 specialists he is diagnosed with developmental delays, sensory processing disorder and low muscle tone.  He begins 2x week occupational therapy, that i have to sit in the waiting room while he completes.  Leaving little time and no energy for mom to do any organized teaching at home.  Each specialist would tell us, take away his favorite toys, less time on the iPad, he'll grow out of it, do this...  And between my boys' appointments my 4 year old started pre-K which was equally draining with the short school day and drop-offs and pick ups to schedule around.

My life is looking a little different now.  I"m homeschooling the now 5 year old because its too stressful to leave the house with all 3 kids on a schedule every day. The 3 year old still hasn't mastered a spoon, watches and repeats his favorite movie lines over and over, and jumps on the couch so much he got 2 trampolines for Christmas.  He still carries his blanket around and if you don't have it be ready for meltdown.  My baby is now a toddler and starting to do some things my 3 year old struggles with.

The 3, 5 year olds are less tan 2 years apart, I imagined homeschooling them mostly together at the same level, with small differences.  the 5 year old excitedly read her first (leveled reader) chapter book this month, and can do simple addition on her hands.  The 3 year old is still learning to hold a crayon and draw a line.

Its not the life I pictured but I feel a great responsibility to care for my boys and their special gifts.  I am a researcher and Google is my friend.  I was even asked at a meeting if I had an education background for the knowledge I appeared to have.  I will fight for my kids to succeed and get the help and tools they need.  I wasn't planning on this hard work but i'm willing and able.